Aphorisms 8

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I wake up.

If at first you don't succeed, see if there’s anything for second place.

I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Life begins at forty; it also begins to show.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable... except when you need it for a slot machine.

Tomorrow I plan to be spontaneous.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Always borrow money from a pessimist - he doesn't expect it back.

Men talk to communicate information; women talk to transmit mood.