Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I wake up.
If at first you don't succeed, see if there’s anything for second place.
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Life begins at forty; it also begins to show.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable... except when you need it for a slot machine.
Tomorrow I plan to be spontaneous.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
Always borrow money from a pessimist - he doesn't expect it back.
Men talk to communicate information; women talk to transmit mood.