Despite the internet, we get more and more paper delivered by post each day. Our post box, which was an original fitting built into our front porch 80 years ago, has become too small. So Diane and I decided to purchase a new one. We bought a Bobi, which is a steel box with a proper lock. Of course, it is too large to fit in the porch. We decided to fix it to the side of the house.
Here was our first difficulty. Our house is covered with a rendering with lots of bobbles in it, making a bobbly surface not flat enough to fix the Bobi to. Our first solution was to put felt washers in between the box and the wall. Finding felt washers that were thick enough to make a difference was hard, but eventually I found some that were designed to protect a hardwood floor from furniture feet, which seemed to fit the bill.
The second difficulty was in drilling through the steel box. I had to go out and find appropriately sized titanium drill bits. Our local hardware man was sure he had some somewhere and eventually we dug them out. Only £1 each, but the time it took finding them!
The third problem was in holding up the heavy box for long enough to mark the holes in the wall to match those we had drilled in the box. We solved this problem by building a plinth of bricks to rest the box on while we marked up.
We marked and drilled the holes in the wall, but then came the fourth problem. When we tried to screw through the box, the holes didn't match up and the felt washers weren't thick enough. We had to abandon this plan and think again.
The solution was obviously to attache some battens to the wall and then attach the Bobi to the battens. I looked in the garage loft, but here was the fifth problem: no wood of the right size. Off I go again to the hardware shop to buy a piece of wood. Again, easily solved at less than £1 though by now my petrol is probably running at nearer £5.
This time I fix the battens and the box and all seems well.
That was yesterday and today we have our first delivery. Not the postman, today is Sunday, but someone delivering leaflets by hand. I see the young woman go to the porch, pause, then walk round to the side of the house. As soon as she is gone I nip out with my key to see what she has delivered.
Can you believe it? It is a leaflet offering alternative health products. Full body holistic massage £30, hot stone massage £45, Indian head massage £25 and the one that really fascinates me, Hopi ear candles! 45 minutes for £25. I would want more than £25 to sit with a candle in my ear for 45 minutes.