John Prescott

What must Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, do to get himself fired?

After owning up to a 2-year, Bill-Clinton-like affair with an underling (who is also the mistress of a long distance lorry driver in Bordon, Hants), it now emerges that he took her rather than his wife to a relgious service for Iraq veterans.

This is the man whose green credentials extend to driving 200 yards in one of his two gas-guzzling Jaguars so that his wife's hair wouldn't get mussed up, who punched a heckler on the hustings, whose housing arangements are so 'involved' that he recently had to repay a tax bill of several thousand pounds due to a 'misunderstanding' about his three residences and who when asked a question on the radio so mangles the answer that he out-George Ws George W for incomprehensibilty. When standing in for Tony Blair at Prime Minister's question time recently, he so distorted an answer that William Hague had to call for a translation into English.

It is probably not true, however, that he ate an elephant at Blackpool zoo according to this link. http://www.deadbrain.co.uk/news/article_2005_12_28_1729.php